Resiliency As A Leader. Resiliency As A Human Being

A Year Of Reflection

Recently, at work, I was asked to share my personal story on building resiliency & emotional wellness.

Given the overwhelming reaction from my peers, I decided to share it more broadly. It reinforces the importance of role modeling, coaching & caring for others.  

2020 has challenged me like no other. It has required me to continually adapt, adjust, and take inventory of life. We are all on our journey as leaders. We are on our own journey as human beings. 

“Our greatest ability as humans is not to change the world, but to change ourselves.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Resiliency Beyond Exercise

About 10 years ago, I had the opportunity to meet Tony Schwartz at a leadership summit.  I am fascinated by his work on the Energy Project and the importance of the four types of energy.  Openly, I didn’t understand the importance at that time in my life. I was in my early 30s and I thought that I could manage thru brute force and caffeine.

Today, in my early 40’s it was already tough, but the last 12 months has been an entirely new set of challenges.  I now understand the importance of physical energy which includes sleep, nutrition, fitness & rest. I also think often about emotional energy and recognizing how you feel affects how you perform. Finally, I am reminded daily about mental energy, and the ability to stay focused & designating start and stop times and spiritual energy and having a clear purpose in what you do, a sense of meaning. 

What started as re-thinking my exercise routine and adding more outdoor activities like golf and Pilates became much more. It evolved to be about creating space to support my kids and virtual learning, gardening, commitment to a personal coach. It is more about the importance of how I am spending my time. The question(s) I now ask myself daily is “am I focused on the most critical aspects of my life or simply the important ones?”

Resiliency Beyond 9 A.M. To 5 P.M. 

When I was asked to share my resiliency story at work, it naturally started from my responsibility’s today.  This included how I support the team. It included how I support the organization and fellow my peers and colleagues.  As I sat back in my chair, I recognize that it is impossible to separate work from the rest of my responsibilities. It became more about my responsibilities as a professional, a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a friend, and as a human being. Looking back, I realize how selfish my approach was.

Today, my focus is on how I support others around me. It includes my spouse, my kids, my family and my friends. There are days when I need to make to support three kids, and their school work. Also, there are days when I make time for a walk or a few hours of exercise, create time to make dinner, and make time to play a board game together. Besides, there are also days I need to put down my phone or laptop and make time for calls to talk to family or a friend.  The question(s) I ask myself daily (thanks to my spouse) is “am I working to make me successful, or am I working to make all of us (our family) successful?”

Resiliency Beyond 2020

Winston Churchill once said, “never let a good crisis go to waste.” This year felt like a decade, the feeling that the entire world slowed down to a near crawl. While it feels that way, a day is still 24 hours, a month is roughly 30 days. Much of how we feel is amplified by the constant pelting of new expectations, continual adaptation, and constant change. Also, many of us have lived out a year in isolation, which is hard for an extrovert like me, but in reality, it is hard for everyone. 

As we head into 2021, with the hopes of a vaccine on the horizon, the reality is that the turn of the calendar year won’t make this disappear. It will take time, a longer time than many of us hope. I am perplexed by a recent question from my coach of “who am I being when I am doing what I am doing?’ While I still don’t yet have an answer to that question there are several questions I now think about regularly.  They include “am I building healthy relationships with my kids?” “am I building healthy partnerships with my spouse?” and “am I building healthy habits for myself?” Regardless of when this pandemic is behind us what will you learn from this crisis? How are you building your resiliency as a leader?

Remember that life is a game never won or lost, only played.