It Took 40 Years To Find My Purpose

Purpose Is More Important Than Passion

It may be the ‘40 year old thing’ future planning for my mid-life crisis or perhaps a new book I read. It could of been from having too much time on a flight across the country, but I now realize that finding purpose is far more important than simply enjoying what you do. Having purpose and a reason for doing something is far more important than passion or a controllable love or emotion for what you do. Remember start with the why, start with your why.

As most of our 000’s of readers know, I live with my Sunday gorilla, have an endless focus and determination for a successful career and strong financial future. I am fortunate and very blessed. Like most folks my age,  I have also acquired a bunch of $%&@ which has complicated my life. As commitments and responsibilities add up it put pressure on all aspects of my life including my passions. I realized that only having passions wasn’t enough. More importantly, I realized that I lacked purpose and understanding why I was doing what I was. I had somewhat lost my way and it has worn on me over time.  I was simply going thru the motions of life.

A Career With Purpose

I spent 15+ years building a career and I sacrificed a lot.  I have sacrificed the many of the things we all have. They include the obvious things like time, sleep, endless flights, conference calls, emails and my other woman ‘Ms. Outlook Calendar Reminder’. At the same time, I have also sacrificed family & health & well-being thru poor decisions, regrets, guilt and everything in between. It was far more about the passion for what I did that guided my decisions.

Early in my career, it was about developing skills, building experiences and learning from brilliant people. That continues today. My passion was deeply rooted in being successful, climbing the corporate ladder. Does that sound familiar to anyone? I had one career goal and at that time it was a wrapped in a title, salary and a level of responsibility. When I reached the career goal I had set in my early 30’s and nothing changed, I quickly realized that it had to be about more than passion. Having another $5 coffee, new car or a vacation home did nothing. Honestly it just created more reasons to keep working and further complicate life.  My reality is that I had never found my purpose and this was becoming a serious problem.

It’s About The Ride, Not What Your Ride In

As my career grew so do expectations that came with it. It also became even more material possessions and more and more stuff.  I am not sure why we do it. Is because everyone does it? Is it because you think you’re supposed to do it? Or is it about keeping up with the neighbors or friends? Part of the reason we buy things is pressing the dopamine button and creating a temporary satisfaction of happiness, joy or accomplishment. The key word is temporary.

Material possessions are usually more often than not rooted in a passion – a new sports car, a lovely big home or the newest phone or tech gadget. Trust me I have pressed the dopamine buttons many, many times. Dopamine is an addicting drug. Over time, without knowing why you are doing something it can become somewhat pointless. It just becomes more stress, more responsibility or another commitment.

As I have watched my friends and family grow older you realize that it isn’t about more things. Many of my closest friends and family have simplified and de-cluttered. They live in smaller homes have fewer cars and gotten ridden of many of the material possessions they acquired. So what changed as I know they can all easily afford it? What changed is that you realize that none of that matters. What matters is what they find important and their purpose drives all of that. They have filled their lives with what feeds their purpose – faith, photos, memories and a few important possessions. The rest doesn’t matter.

The Dance & The Music Of Life

You spend your early life in school, then more school and then you join the world. Eventually you find some job you really enjoy and you wait for what great thing is coming, you continue to wait for it – a successful career, corner office, more money, more responsibility and shiny toys. Then that moment comes and you realize you have arrived, you are there, you have made it!

Once I arrived guess what; even though I had arrived I didn’t feel any different from I always felt. I felt slightly let down or that maybe it was a hoax or a fable and that I was missing something.  I was missing the fact that the entire reason for the journey wasn’t about some pilgrimage about getting to some end, whatever or wherever it was, rather the journey was to enjoy the dance and the music of life. The journey was a musical thing. You were supposed to sing and dance and enjoy the moments along the way. I realize now that the music of life is a wonderful thing. Finding the time to understand your purpose is an important journey to take in your music of life.

Remember What Is Important

Personally, I am closer to a purpose as ever before but there is still work left. I know that my purpose is deeply rooted in my family, my 3 wonderful kids, my amazing wife <3 and making time for each of them. My vacations are no longer filled with amazing beaches or fancy hotel rooms. Instead, my vacations are filled with the people I love the most. Today, vacations are filled the simple times laughing with family sharing great stories over a favorite meal quiet or watching my kids be kids. It is about the music of life. More often than not, my Sunday gorilla stays in his cage and Ms. ‘Outlook Calendar Reminder’ waits for Monday morning.

So why do I share this with 000’s of you? I share this in the hopes that you all realize the importance of having purpose far sooner than I did.

I share this in the hopes that you will all spend time to think about your purpose and understand ‘why’ you do what you.

Remember that life is a game never won or lost, only played.